Dear Santa,

You are a liar, and I say this with good reason. This holiday season, it has dawned on me that you have promised to get every good little girl and boy what they asked for.

Last Christmas, I distinctly remember going to my local mall and asking you for puppy, which you agreed to give me. On Christmas morning, I ran down the stairs and was greeted with two presents that had my name on it from you. I was certain that the first present I opened was going to be the puppy, but upon opening it, my heart sunk. I received an illuminated snow globe with you waving from the North Pole. So I gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you wanted me to have a souvenir from our meeting at the mall. In excitement, I ripped open the second present expecting to find a pair of floppy ears and big puppy eyes staring back at me. Instead, a big, floppy, inflatable Santa popped out. I cried in horror as I realized that you did not live up to your promise. This experience has made me realize that it would be best if you just stayed home on Christmas. Please stop making promises you can’t keep.

Disappointingly,

Ex-Santa Fan