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The Tongva Times

The Tongva Times

The Tongva Times

My life is a movie and the genre is horror

    By Chloe Morales | Staff Writer

    Photo Credit – GIPHY

       For the past year, a lot of things have not been adding up. Back in March, it was practically anarchy when it was announced that a deadly virus had been rapidly spreading across the globe. From the brawls over toilet paper at supermarket raids to the recent blaze of fires, I simply must share my observations about the disastrous year of 2020. 

       It did not hit me until I was watching movies with my family, since we had nothing else to do over quarantine but spend time with one another. (I know, I know – family time, what a crazy concept). We were discussing popular Halloween television shows when I remembered the beloved Disney Channel show, “Wizards of Waverly Place,” that had run as a Halloween special years ago. Alex – played by Selena Gomez – got trapped in a horror movie. That is when it hit me that I, too, was stuck in a horror movie. Unlike Alex, I was unable to “bippity-boppity” my way out. 

      All of the unprecedented events that took place this year suddenly became clear.

      We were living in the movie “Contagion” where an unknown virus eventually led to a global pandemic.

        Quarantine is basically “Home Alone.” I know that’s not exactly a horror film, but right now I am Macauly Culkin and the world is basically the two burglars. 

       Speaking of burglars, I swear whenever I go to the supermarket, or any store for that matter, I have to maintain a watchful eye. Everyone is considerably more suspicious, as it seems they believe themselves to be under an invisibility cloak, which is really just their oversized hoodie, sunglasses, and obligatory mask. 

       I mean, they were simply following the false promises of Joe from the horror show “You” on Netflix. This man put on a blue cap and thought he was invisible. 

       With everyone wearing masks, I feel as if  I am inside “The Purge,” a film about masked anarchists who disrupt civil society with pleas of individualistic requests. That sounds a lot like the protests for haircuts and pedicures.   

       And, this movie theory would explain the frequent monster sightings, too. We have all come across these monsters before but, since the virus hit, they have been aggravated like never before.  

       I am talking about “Karen.”

       Karens were popping up everywhere, raging with privilege, refusing to wear masks, practically foaming at the mouth to speak to everyone’s managers.

      And, to top it off – bloodthirsty killer bees, raging forest fires, and sudden midnight earthquakes have made this theory indisputable. 

       What makes it even worse is that everyone is now hyper-aware of sneezes and coughs, which, for someone who has terrible allergies, makes me worry that the “Monsters Inc.” hazmat team is going to declare a code red and come drag me away. 

       There were also other subtleties I could not ignore. Like when I was sitting on the couch with my dog, Mochi. I thought he looked pale as a ghost. I mean I know his fur is white, but still. He kept glaring over my head as if some ghastly figure was looming over me.  

       I got up, looked in the mirror, and, as it turns out, it was just my bedhead. I guess there is nothing more terrifying than the “I have been stuck in quarantine for almost a year and begun to believe I am inside a horror movie” look.

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    My life is a movie and the genre is horror