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The Tongva Times

The Tongva Times

The Tongva Times

Aesthetic of a staff member
Aesthetic of a staff member
Staff • June 4, 2024
End of school year sports recap
Bren Belmonte, Staff Writer • May 30, 2024

The 10: Things to swim in


With summer upon us and the end of school in sight, who doesn’t want to take a nice, brisk swim somewhere? I mean, it’s not like you can’t swim or something, right? That would be hilarious, like who can’t swim…

Swimming pools of these stuff probably aren’t that common, but that makes it all the more exciting.

10. Radioactive Water

Last year, Japan released nuclear wastewater from the decommissioned Fukushima plant. China criticized the decision even though they do the same thing every year and their radioactive water is more dangerous. L choice all things considered.

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9. Melted Chocolate

In the first Charlie and Chocolate Factory, the chocolate river was actual. Still, it soon spoiled into a rotting sludge strewn with other trash. This was the liquid that Michael Böllner, playing Augustus Gloop, had to fall into multiple times for filming. We should listen to Gloop’s lesson: a melted chocolate river is a stupid idea.

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8. Mud

Speaking of brown, viscous sludge, people PAY to be dunked into a vat of dirt and water. At least you can make this stuff at home.

7. Swimming pool… no, a bathtub

It may be a little small, but it’s more than cozy.

6. Acetone

Good old nail polish remover, you can’t beat that smell! It will probably be removing a lot more nail polish though…

5. Gold Coins

Live out your wildest dreams as a fabulously rich duck, swimming lavishly in your wealth. Also die, because diving headfirst into a vat of heavy, gold coins will kill you.

4. $100 Bills

For those who want to be rich like Mr. Number 5 from “One Piece”. Just be careful, a radical arson group might decide to set all your precious Benjamins on fire.

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3. Nacho Cheese

Gooey, cheesy, nachoey. Every kid dreams of getting a full jar of that Kraft nacho cheese they put in every nacho’s Lunchables. But forget eating it. It also happens to be the perfect consistency for swimming.

2. Normal Water

For making up 70% of the Earth’s surface and being crucial to all life on Earth, water’s kind of the GOAT. But it’s nothing compared to…

1. Dasani Water

With new, Dasani brand swimming pool water, you can have it all! It has all the purified, refined taste of sodium chloride, the thrill of paying for overpriced water, and best of all, supporting the Coca-Cola company. Forget about an Aquafina brand swimming pool, we have Dasani at home.

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About the Contributor
Isaac Chan
Isaac Chan, Staff Writer
Isaac Chan is in his first year with the school's journalism team. Outside of journalism, Isaac is an avid fan of video games, with particular fondness for Kirby, Mario, Zelda, and the Persona series—which he is always eager to discuss. Despite his penchant for gaming, Isaac is no stranger to hard work and often finds himself immersed in the challenges of overcommitting. He is particularly interested in politics and views journalism as an ideal platform to address and discuss pressing issues at Gab.
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